I Can Do It!

Look at how ridiculous Ben looks in his snowsuit. He no longer fits into his adorable newborn sized one, so we had to make do with what we had-- a 6 month one. I think he looks cute in this too, but that's my opinion.



A few days ago, we received a notice under our door stating that the building was going to be without heat the following day from the hours of 8AM-8PM. Of course, I was freaking out because the thought of a 7 week-old infant in an apartment with no heat in the dead of winter is not okay.

My friend in San Fran said it best... SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING THAT WOULD HAPPEN IN NEW YORK CITY!

Earlier that morning, we decided to turn the heat on at full blast while we were still able to. At exactly 8am, the warm air switched to being cold. I put layers of clothing on him and blankets, but his cheeks continued being cold. Eventually, I decided to take him out to Barnes and Nobles because it was unbearable!! Now, you need to understand that I've been petrified to leave the house alone with Ben. I worry that something will bad will happen while I'm out and I won't be able to deal with it. But this was ultimately a turning point for me because I had to do it and I did it. And, I'm proud of myself for facing my fear.

I couldn't believe how many other strollers I saw at BN. The place was packed with mommies/nannies and their babies. The children's section was filled with people with toddlers either perusing or throwing books and the cafe was filled with those who had younger infants. One mommy caught my attention immediately as her child, who looked not much older than Ben, began crying. She didn't stop from reading her magazine as her baby cried. Only after at least what seemed to be a minute did she use her leg to push the stroller back and forth as she continued reading. She did this for about 2 minutes until you could no longer hear the cries. She didn't need to glance at her child for a second. "Wow!", I thought to myself. She's a pro at this!

I'm constantly amazed by so many moms. They're the moms who take their infants out even when it's freezing outside because they want their child to see how beautiful it is when it snows outside. I'd be too worried that Ben would get sick. They're the moms who put their infants into a baby carrier and take them on the subway to wherever they need to go. I'd be too worried that something would happen on my subway ride, even though I've been taking the subway since I was a child. These mommies don't let anything stop them from doing what they need or want to do. They're not scared like me.

I want to be like them.